


For You

by YellowLipstick



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Brother/Brother Incest, Brother/Sister Incest, Durincest, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Rape/Non-con, Scars, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Song Lyrics, Tender Sex, Transgender, Transgender Kili
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:47:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22233043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YellowLipstick/pseuds/YellowLipstick
Summary: Fili falls in love with one of his Tumblr followers, not realizing it's Kili.
Relationships: Fíli/Kíli (Tolkien), Kíli (Tolkien)/Original Male Character(s)
Kudos: 15





	For You

**Author's Note:**

> Songs: “Undisclosed Desires” by Muse  
“Brighter than Sunshine” by Aqualung  
“Bleed Like Me” by Garbage 
> 
> The song lyrics are from the song "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse. Fili's Tumblr name "brighterthansunshine" is taken from the song "Brighter than Sunshine" by Aqualung and Kili's Tumblr name "bleed-like-me" is taken from the song "Bleed Like Me" by Garbage.

~“I know you've suffered

But I don't want you to hide

It's cold and loveless

I won't let you be denied

Soothing

I'll make you feel pure

Trust me

You can be sure”~

Fili pulled off each of Kili’s garments lovingly, slowly, to savor the caress of fingertips and fabric against smooth flesh, before tossing them one by one into a heap on the floor. There was nothing he liked better than seeing his baby sister out and about in little dresses, brightly patterned skirts, leggings and oversized tops, and just generally anything that made the brunette happy and comfortable in her own body. But when Fili could take them all off Kili was his favorite time. As he pulled the straps down from Kili’s bony shoulders and unbuttoned the front of the teal sundress, he smiled adoringly at the brunette and shimmied the bright garment down his baby sister’s thin frame. The panties always made Fili pause to catch a breath, because Kili’s beautiful sex trapped in thin lace was a sight to make him weak in the knees, every time.

Fili started at his sister’s knee, kissing up her long, milky thigh until he reached those teasing, pink, frilly panties and tugged them all the way back down the brunette’s long legs with his teeth, growling in possessive arousal. When Kili was fully bared to him, Fili quickly and dismissively shucked his own clothing, before swooping back to the bed and cupping Kili’s bony face in his hands, petting the high cheekbones softly with the pads of his thumbs.

“Love you, Kee,” Fili murmured worshipfully, ignoring his jutting erection as it bumped against the brunette’s knee, and only continuing to stare at his baby sister in quiet awe, wondering how he could have been so lucky to be blessed with such a love.

“Stop, Fee,” Kili murmured shyly, blushing bright red, while her gaze skittered nervously away from the elder’s; it didn’t matter how many times her brother had looked at her with such rapture, or said those loving words, she would always feel a bit insecure.

Fili moved his hand to beneath Kili's chin and tugged on it gently, pulling her beautiful, brown eyes back to meet his own gaze, “You are everything to me, Kili, and I love you, so much,” he whispered enraptured.

Kili pulled her lower lip between her teeth and bit at it, moving her gaze away once more from her perfect older brother’s, feeling tears well up, as she whimpered softly.

Fili frowned in concern, truly he loved to shower praises upon his beloved little sister, his lover, but he knew Kili could be triggered by the simplest things, reminding her of her horrifying, abusive ex and the string of heartbreaking choices she had made afterwards in an attempt to get over them. If he could make Kili believe his true words, his love and affection, he would parrot them all day at the nervous brunette, but he knew words could only go so far, could only heal so much of his sister’s pain.

It had all started with a simple message, a very tremulous, _‘Hi?’_ from one of Fili’s quietest followers on Tumblr, ‘bleed-like-me’. He was an avid blogger, and maintained a widely popular blog revolving mainly around the various fandoms he followed, but also including personal posts and tidbits, though never too telling, he was always careful about what he put up online. One of his first followers, who had quietly liked and re-blogged many of his posts for about a year without every commenting on anything, had one night sent him that simple message and from there everything had unfurled.

Fili had often wondered whether this loyal follower of his had ever been behind some of the more sweet and romantic anonymous ‘Asks’ he would get from time to time, but hardly had the blatancy to ask. Every now and then when Fili would peruse bleed-like-me’s blog in return, he would always feel a nagging concern, their posts could be very dark at times, often hinting towards self-harm; but he felt like he couldn’t really do anything, how could he message this stranger and ask if they needed help? So when he got that first message, the blonde jumped all over it and sent an exuberantly enthusiastic response, blabbering on a bit, but happy nonetheless.

Within days, they had exchanged dozens of messages, and Fili finally asked if they could just Skype message, and not deal with the frustration that was Tumblr messaging. The discussed just about everything fandom related, and soon had slipped on to personal things-likes and dislikes, philosophies and opinions; but it took well over a month for the shy and quiet bleed-like-me to really begin opening up, to where getting tidbits of thoughts out of them wasn’t like pulling teeth for Fili. Some days he didn’t really understand why bleed-like-me had messaged him anyways, she hardly seemed like she really wanted to talk, but then Fili thought, maybe she just wanted to know someone, anyone, was there? That at least he cared?

As months went on, he began to learn more about her, but the most telling messages came one cold, fall night. She had been feeling depressed and insecure, and was trying to talk herself out of cutting again. Fili was desperate to help his friend, the friend he was now certain he was slowly falling in love with, hopelessly romantic pansexual that he was, though generally in the past he had always fallen for guys. Fili offered anything he could think of to help her, even going so far as to invite her to voice chat with him just so she could hear someone; but all his invitations to that were staunchly refused, and suddenly the slightly flirty, comfortable, comforting demeanor they had fallen into was gone, and Fili didn’t know what he had done wrong. Bleed-like-me had suddenly backed off, and all the cute, affectionate emoticons and action emotes disappeared.

Fili moped around for weeks, simply sending back and forth one-sentence messages, and wondering what he had done to upset his friend. He tried apologizing, but was assured that he hadn’t upset her. Finally, one night, as he was on the verge of tears, feeling his heavy heart throb painfully in his chest, just rereading all the once-long and happy messages and *cuddles* they had exchanged, she messaged him, and it was a long, real message.

**bleed-like-me ** _“Sunshine, I’m sorry I’ve been…yeah. I just…I felt like, *blushes* sorry…this is hard for me, I felt like we were, getting close…” _

**brighterthansunshine **“I thought so too, and I was so happy. I don’t know why you stopped really talking to me, but like I’ve said, I’m so sorry if I did anything to make you uncomfortable.”

**bleed-like-me** _“No, no, really, it wasn’t you. It’s…well. There are a lot of things, really. But, maybe this is presumptuous of me, but you…*ugh* *okay* *sigh* you know I’ve always had a crush on you, right? If I didn’t make it obvious… Well when I thought you might…too? I…I panicked.”_

**brighterthansunshine** “I do. I care about you a lot, and I was really hurt when you stopped talking to me other than a few words at a time…I missed you. But, why did you panic? If I didn’t do anything to upset you?”

**bleed-like-me ** _“Um…just *tears* I don’t want you to hate me, I…I need you, and I don’t want you to go away.”_

**brighterthansunshine **“Hey, Love (can I still call you that?), I’m not leaving, I won’t ever go away. Nothing you tell me could make me hate you, I mean it.”

**bleed-like-me** “*blushes* Yeah…you can always call me that, if you want. I…I dated this guy. And he… and then I… *fuck*”

Fili learned that night all about her nasty ex, who had taught her about sexuality, and had used and abused her until she finally said no…and then he had raped her and left her in shame, laughing on his way out the door. After that, she had hidden herself, she said with clothing but didn’t really elaborate, and the self-harming had begun. She went through a string of lovers, wanting to take control of her own body and choices, but in the end, just felt worse for it…going so far as to degrade herself with awful titles like ‘slut’ whenever looking into the mirror.

In the end, all he could say, as tears streamed down his face and over the small phone he held to him like a lifeline, was:

**brighterthansunshine **“I love you. You’re an amazing, strong, beautiful person who has survived so much, and how could I turn away from you? You’re perfect. You’re everything that’s good, and I love you. So much. I have for a while now, but now I know, I’m in love with you.”

**bleed-like-me** _“*speechless*…I…I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve someone like you, to love me, I don’t…I can’t…”_

~“I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You trick your lovers

That you're wicked and divine

You may be a sinner

But your innocence is mine”~

It took hours, but in the end, Fili would never regret the time he spent, convincing her that she was worthy of his devotion, and that she certainly had it. Even the next day, when something else popped up, it had only brought them closer:

**brighterthansunshine **“Good morning, Dear. And how is my Love doing today?”

**bleed-like-me** _ “Sunshine…we can’t…”_

**brighterthansunshine **“We can’t…? You mean, have I made you uncomfortable? Was I too forward with my feelings for you last night? :( I’m so sorry…”

**bleed-like-me** _ “No, that’s not it, I promise, you’re just, so *wonderful*. But there’s one more thing, and I just didn’t want you to…well you said you were in love with me, but I wanted you to know who ‘me’ really is, before you made that choice, because I owe that to you…*sad*”_

**brighterthansunshine **“Why are you sad, Love? I said last night, and I hope I’ve proven it to you, nothing about you will ever make me turn away from you, not want you…I love you.”

**bleed-like-me** _ “I’m a guy. Like. I’m not a girl. I have a dick…I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore… *sob*”_

**brighterthansunshine **“Wait…why would that make me not want to talk to you anymore? I’m pansexual, you know that. Just because I thought you were a woman doesn’t matter…I mean, don’t you identify as a woman?”

**bleed-like-me** _ “Well…yeah. *hides*”_

**brighterthansunshine **“Then you’re a woman. A woman I’m very much in love with. What hangs, or doesn’t, between your legs doesn’t matter to me…well, I mean, doesn’t change my feelings for you ;)”

**bleed-like-me** _ “O.O…how are you so perfect? Like I’m dreaming, right?”_

Things moved relatively quickly from that point. They soon were dating though they had never met in person, didn’t know the other’s name, and really had vague details about each other’s daily lives…but they had been too captured by the each other’s personalities and souls to really care all that much about everything else. One night though, it finally happened. Fili learned that bleed-like-me was a twenty-three year old college student, the same age and attending the same school as his little brother. Then he learned that bleed-like-me liked practicing archery and some of the childhood stories matched his a little oddly. Fili had asked for bleed-like-me’s real name in a shock…and it was Kili. His little brother, Kili, who he had fallen so head-over-heels in love with, who he had basically all but Skype-sexed with. The only person he had ever connected with so deeply, whom he loved more than anyone else he had ever dated, was his little brother…well, little sister, since Kili identified as a woman now.

It didn’t even matter, not really, once he had absorbed the initial surprise. Kili was who he was irrevocably in love with, and nothing could change that.

Of course, once the message had been sent, after an awkward ten minutes of silence while Fili tried to sort his feelings out, there was no other response afterwards:

**brighterthansunshine **“Kee…Love, it’s me. Fili.”

**bleed-like-me** _ “…”_

Kili was panicking and wasn’t responding to any of Fili’s messages or phone calls. Fili jumped into his car and drove the two-hour distance to his sister’s college, kicking himself the whole way. How could he not have known his little sister had been with an abusive asshole? That his sister had been raped? That Kili even identified as a woman? He knew he hadn’t seen the brunette much once he had moved away for his new job and the younger had gone off to college, really just seeing him on the holidays, and then Kili was so quiet, barely talking to him, and now he supposed he knew why-Kili had been silently suffering, too scared, too ashamed to tell anyone of her struggles.

Really, Fili was sure he had always loved Kili a bit too much, and perhaps that was why he had moved so far away; but Kili had needed him and he wasn’t there. Now, none of that mattered, he was done trying to ‘do the right thing’ and focus on wanting someone that wasn’t his own sibling…he had tried and when he had fallen in love with his online paramour, it turned out it was his own sibling after all, through no true knowledge of his own. The words had been said, it was done, and he loved Kili and wouldn’t back down now. Though, if he knew his sister, and he was pretty sure he finally did, he was worried she was going to panic and try to hurt herself over something like this, and he wasn’t about to let that happen.

~“Please me

Show me how it's done

Tease me

You are the one”~

That had all been over a year ago. Now, Kili had graduated and lived with Fili. The brunette had found a job at the local preschool and was already looking into attending a higher education program for early childhood education. Fili maintained his job at the local hospital, where he was a personnel in the human resources department. They had yet to open up to their family about their incestuous relationship and merely maintained that Kili had moved in with her older brother for a change of scenery and the betterment of her mental well being. First, they had focused on allowing Kili to come out to their mom as being a transgendered person who mainly identified as female. They were still working on it, but felt their mom would come around one day, hopefully. 

“Hey, Love,” Fili murmured gently, smiling when his sister’s tearful gaze met his once more, “What happened, Sweetheart? Did something upset you?” he asked softly, slightly moving his body back so that his naked form wasn’t touching her and making her more uncomfortable.

“Well, no, just that, you’re so perfect, Fee, and I…” Kili sobbed, suddenly feeling the whirling maelstrom that sometimes drove her hand to picking up the razor blade consuming her.

“Sweetheart, I need you to calm down, Love, can I touch you?” Fili asked in concern, always wanting for her to have the absolute say in anything regarding her body and touches laid upon it.

“Yes,” she sobbed, before curling onto the bed and reaching for a blanket, her go-to hiding mechanism now.

Fili climbed onto the bed with her and pushed himself into her arms, nuzzling his warm face against his taller sister’s bony shoulder, “You’re beautiful,” he whispered, laying a small kiss against her flesh.

“You’re loving and affectionate,” Fili murmured, bumping his nose and then his lips lower against her collarbone, smiling when she blushed and squirmed underneath him.

“You’re so sweet and giving,” He continued, moving his mouth down to lay a small, sucking kiss against one of her dusky nipples.

She gave a quiet moan, so much better than the little sobs that had been spouting from her unchecked, and Fili grinned delightedly, continuing his attention on her nipples, “You’re smart and I love it when you share your opinions with me.”

He moved his mouth down to her jutting hip bone, trailing his lips over her soft stomach the whole way, and began sucking a light bruise into the firm flesh, “You’re creative and talented, the pictures you draw sometimes are breathtaking,” he grinned, right as his lips on her hip caused his sister to momentarily gasp.

“You’re so amazing, I don’t know how you work with children every day and still come home not entirely out of sorts, you seem to have endless patience with them,” Fili smiled up at her, enjoying the rosy hue of her cheeks.

“Sunshine, stop,” she mumbled shyly, intoning the loving name she had bestowed upon him, based on his tumblr username, when they had first begun talking online.

“You’re my sunshine, Sweetheart, without you I wouldn’t have anyone to shine for,” Fili replied happily, beaming up at the cutely exasperated expression she was now sporting.

“You’re strong, you’re a survivor,” he whispered into the quiet room, grabbing at her thighs as she tried to insecurely push them together when his mouth moved lower.

“Your scars are one of the most beautiful things about you, Love, they show me you’ve been through hell and came back to me,” Fili murmured firmly, placing his lips right against the multitude of bumpy scars, lining the insides of her milky thighs copiously.

“They show I’m weak,” Kili whispered out shamefully, voice cracking in grief.

Fili gripped his hands tightly on Kili’s hips and he licked a long line up the inside of her thigh, running it wetly over several purple scars at once, “They show me that you suffered, but that you survived it. Wounds don’t stop bleeding once the trauma is over, Love, and that’s okay. I know you’re still healing, might always be healing a bit, but I’m always going to be here for you, to help, because I don’t want you to hide and I don’t want you to suffer anymore.”

Kili dropped her head back and sighed breathily as Fili turned his mouth back to her scars and started running his lips over them in a soft pet, back and forth, soothing and arousing all at once. He glanced up and grinned when he saw her sex begin to harden once more, as she shivered underneath his ardent lips.

Fili scooted back up so that his mouth was hovering right over her shaft, blowing hot air onto the swelling length, “Can I touch you here, Love?”

Kili nodded quickly and squeaked, “M-make love to me, Sunshine?”

“It would be my greatest pleasure, Love,” Fili breathed before swallowing her length whole and sucking at it passionately while she keened underneath him.

Fili pulled off soon, too quickly judging by the way Kili was groaning in need underneath him, and nuzzled his face in between her legs, beginning to lick and suck at her hidden pucker while she squirmed and whined for more. The blonde reached for the lube on the nightstand, inconspicuously kept in a decorative basket with other personal hygiene items, before quickly coating his fingers slickly and teasing them at her entrance.

He pushed one finger in slowly, always checking her face for any signs of distress or discomfort, but smiled when he saw her flutter her eyelashes with a breathy, dreamy sigh as she clenched pleasurably around his finger.

“More, Love?” he questioned softly, causing Kili to nod her head fervently.

Fili pushed a second finger in and started slowly stretching her entrance, doing as much as he could to alleviate any burning sensation or pressure by making his movements gentle but firm. When he had four of his fingers inside her, she had started bucking her hips down onto his hand, moaning loudly, and bringing a blushing smile to Fili’s face-he loved it when he could please his sister.

Finally he slicked his own cock up and climbed above her, placing his blunt crown at her entrance, and pausing for her consent.

Kili gazed up at Fili with a renewed smile on her face and breathed, “Please, Sunshine.”

Fili reached down to brush his hand against her cheek before bracing himself against the mattress so he didn’t put too much weight on her as she pulled her legs up further, granting him better access. He pushed himself in slowly, sinking into her body inch by inch, wringing pleasured groans from her throat as she took his deep penetration with fluttering spasms, rippling delicious sensations through her body. Fili leaned on his elbows, resting in the cradle of his sister’s hips, and rocked languidly into her, barely even pulling out before nudging himself deeper and deeper, while pushing warm kisses all over her upturned face.

She was breathing faster, pushing her pelvis up as much as possible to meet his tiny thrusts, and all it took was Fili reaching down quickly to thumb against her shaft’s slit, trapped hotly between them, and she was gasping and spilling her release all over them, while clenching down tightly around her brother’s length. Fili groaned and buried his face in her brunette hair as his hips stuttered while he thrusted into her a few more times before pushing his seed deep in his baby sister.

His body went lax on top of her, and she wrapped her arms around her big brother, murmuring, “Thank you, Sunshine.”

“Thank you, Love, you’re amazing,” Fili mumbled back quietly, nuzzling his face against her neck and sighing in content as he softened inside of her.

  
~“I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

I want to recognize your beauty's not just a mask

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart”~

“I love you,” Kili whispered, hugging Fili to herself tighter.

“Love you more,” the blonde cooed back, snuggling up against the brunette, and enjoying the warmth washing over him from her cuddly form.

Their story wasn’t a fairytale, but Fili did hope there was a ‘happily ever after’ written for them somewhere; and as he lay in his sister’s arms, and saw the content smile on her beautiful face, he didn’t think he could imagine a happier ending.


End file.
